Recently, I was talking to my sister. She came over for dinner and we were hanging out and talking afterward. My sister’s son is autistic and has been in therapy for about a year, since he was close to three. As we spoke she mused that he might be ready to “graduate” from therapy. I know that she works full-time to pay for his therapy (both private and within the school system) so I asked if she would be able to cut down on hours. As we talked about the heavy costs associated with his therapy, I asked why she had never taken advantage of the aid offered in situations like hers.
Her answer astounded me. My sister sat there and spoke of other parents in “the waiting room” whose kids needed more therapy than my nephew and were crushed under the debt of multi-weekly appointments, the folks who gave up on therapy because they can’t afford it at all and said,”We’re okay, we can afford it. I’d rather save it for the parents who really need it.”
Wow. A mother faced with a developmental disorder that places undue burden on the family’s financial situation. Her son is her only child. The future of her family has been altered in a way she did not anticipate and yet, she’s not asking for anything. Furthermore, she is declining help she is perfectly eligible for and which our system says she deserves.
I was floored. To be honest, I don’t even know what lesson to take from this small, seemingly insignificant action. She certainly doesn’t think it’s worth crowing from the rooftops. But it speaks volumes about personal responsibility and accountability. Her sacrificial giving (in theory if big government doesn’t muck it up) will provide another family therapy. Her ability to understand that while the help is there, she need not take it was what impressed me the most.
We live in an opportunistic society and that’s not always bad. But when offered a handout, a hand up, a second chance, make sure you are the ones that needs it before greedily snatching it from the hand of fortune.
I think your sister’s story is inspiring. We were just talking about something similar yesterday. The discussion was about people who get transportation vouchers from the county when they move their kids to private school. My response is like your sister’s – if you can afford to take care of yourself (or send your kids to private school), leave the assistance to those who really need it. If more people thought like this, our world would be a better place.
Our fam rocks my socks off.
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I wish more people would do this. Very admirable.