We’re all connected all the time. And since we’re building our brands we’re supposed to be sharing information, focusing on the big picture and “contributing to the conversation”. But today, I don’t want to. I want to be totally and completely useless. I don’t want to build anything, promote anything, sell tickets, write proposals, set price points or “craft” a message. I’m sick. It’s a silly little cold but one that in past years has turned into pneumonia and I don’t want that to happen, so I am staying in bed. Here’s how my day’s going:
9:37 am- Wake up and realize that the children and husband are gone and have let me sleep in. Proceed to sneeze all over every pillow I own.
9:42 am- Finished stripping and recovering all the pillows ( I have 7.)
9:53 am- husband returns from errands and brings me my three essentials: my laptop, my iPhone and a cup of coffee (as well some tissue, which at this stage can be argued an essential, see pillowcase update)
10:12-10:46- tweet back and forth with Olivier Blanchard about a conversation I shoehorned myself into. I make little progress in proving I know anything, but do manage to bring up cheese. I mark it as a success and plan to write it up later in my “Dairy, Social Media and You” book.
10:47- Wonder how long you have to be in bed before bedsores develop.
10:53- husband agonizes over leaving me to go to the store. I type out all my snappy retorts in Pages because I can’t talk. After a while he gets up and walks away, leaving me powerless.
11:32 am- I try to make myself something to eat, leaving my bed for the first time on unsteady legs. I burn the soup but manage to make a bowl and eat it in 6 minutes flat. Would like more but I’m not going through that again.
11:39- Look through wikipedia, find entire article on con tricks. Read them all. I think I’ve only fallen for like three of them. Tweet the link and then realize it’s not wise to tweet you’re reading about confidence games while job hunting.
1:02 pm- Decide that I am bored of no one paying attention to me and ask everyone on Facebook and Twitter Who would play them in a movie? Excitement peaks at 1:11 and then interest wanes from then….No one says anything about Alyssa Milano. I pout.
1:34 pm- Husband sends picture of a chocolate fountain at a discount store. I have no idea why and text him so. He says “for my parents”. I tell him I burnt the soup so he will come home and never ever attempt Christmas shopping alone again.
1:36 pm- try to revive interest in facebook movie start discussion. No dice.
1:42 pm- Spend four solid minutes wondering if you can chloroform yourself and how dangerous it would be
1:53 pm- Decide to head downstairs to open the peppermint fudge covered oreos. I am sick after all. Dang it. I can’t tear through the plastic and I’m too tired to wrestle with it. I grab a banana instead.
2:08 pm- Design a tattoo. It takes about an hour. Then I think if it takes an hour to design it will take longer than that to ink on my own skin. [redacted]
3:14 pm- Make myself a plate of Christmas Cheer food, including candy canes, dark chocolate oreos (got my strength back) and clementines. Think about how people used to get oranges as treats and how sucky life must have been before Nabisco. Thank God for the thousandth time I am not a pioneer woman.
4:12 pm- Fall asleep